i just counted how many people i've worked with, and not including people not on MM or sequential shoots with the same photographer the number is 114.

my first photoshoot was a little over a year ago. i've shot on close to a third of my days since then, and spent much more time orchestrating and planning these endeavors.

it can be quite strange to try to place myself back where i was then, because i felt frustrated and trapped. or, atleast it was strange until recently.

this most recent trip, despite a few fun creative assignments (like the one you see above) left me feeling artistically absent and incredibly anxious. stuff went down in the city that left me a little less stable than usual, and much of my sought trade work fell through for one reason or another. i sat in traffic for more hours than i can count, and felt really lonely even in the company of my various hosts and others. a particularly alienating experience with a delusional and stubborn individual left me fuming, cursing my occupation. i'm still considering instating a "no classless glamour" restriction.

traveling as much as i do isn't healthy, nor is feeling objectified.

i view modeling as being a medium for the larger piece, as a whole. the problem with this pretty conception is that glamour photography gives little heed to the whole, and it's what pays.

i'm taking it easy in december, and january. i'm not going on hiatus, i'm just not traveling/booking like a madwoman. i need to gather myself, construct some art of my own, hone my photography, play with kitties, and find new wells of grace and ingenuity to siphon.

“life isn't about finding yourself.life is about creating yourself.”"


  1. hey, since you're not planning on going much of anywhere december and january... i guess that might be a good time for me to come chill? also, check out some of my new work... i've started with the masks but i plan on going further, and expanding to other accessory types...

    keep in touch. my phone's always on lol

    -spyder >VK<

  2. <3 u hun.

    Get some rest and along time with that adorable kitty :)