i'm offline till some time in february.

there are a few health issues that have become pertinent and demand attention.
attention that can't be had on the road,
attention a model doesn't possess.

i'll be back, till then it's sort of time for me to forget who velocity is and remember a girl i think i lost somewhere on the highways. eventually i hope to host both of these entities in this mortal shell, they make a good team.


gold is just dirt unjustly glorified.

rough hands tipped then lowered the soaking chair to the hard wood and moved with a decisiveness not recognized. ringlets of moisture seeped memories from my skull, newness forming in the co-valence of two magnetic strangers.

i think this moment is when i knew, subconsciously accepted rather, that love is not a commodity traded for comfort. it took me a long time to work out how to apply this ideal in reality and i’m sure i broke and burned some arterial bridges along the way.

without spontaneity and singularity we are not whole.

if you want something, why would real love keep you from it?

this is my dirt. i am choosing to wear it as gold.


This is an obligatory new years post made as I sit wishing sad things in the cold.

My resolution might have been to love more freely, or accomplish certain logistical outcomes.... if not for my newly and violently fearful heart.

With disgust I will admit all that I can resolve at this point is that I want to feel much less. There is no blame, no drastic causation.

Co-signing to a life of coldness feels fine right now. Maybe I should get out of the below freezing weather, but the frigid silence creeping into my toes is excessively comforting.

This is all horribly personal nonsense. I've neglected writing for the last month after my most invested literary pursuit suffered a casualty in the form of an unfamiliar friend. I suppose this garbled phone fabricated message might be the only thing I am capable of.

Malfunctioning human -out.
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