this is from one of my first mentionable shoots ever. by the numbers i'm not that different from two years ago, but my work, my appearance and my soul speak otherwise. i try to remember if i was ever as obsessed and driven by "fame" as i observe many wildly talented up-and-coming models to be, but then i remember everything in my life has been driven more by random circumstance and the need to succeed. i never really wanted fans so much as friends and co-conspirators, publication seemed a gateway to more work, but now i'm rather content being disengaged as fuck: i value very few thoughts and even fewer opinions.
it seems this is true even of myself.
i keep hearing wonderfully vibrant gossip about myself all across the country, and i sometimes really wish an ounce of it was true. i have my brief spells of devilish behavior and have surely established some controversial ties, but mostly keep to myself and stay focused. i do wish i had the time to live any sort of life, even if it was that of a internet diva.
why not try ignoring expectations all together,
and just doing what feels right?