skin deep frequencies.

while visiting portland oregon i went for a stroll with the amiable mr graves on a blazing hot day in mt. tabor park, and we shot my latest set, "Tabor," now published on zivity.

as we strolled and took advantage of portland's amazing public transportation to get to the park, i asked some questions about the infrared technology we were using to shoot this set. MG proceeded to explain that "infrared technology, in the simplest sense, is about extending our perception." the naked human eye can only see light in wavelengths that range from about 400-700 nanometers. he told me that "the images captured in infrared photography (technically, near infrared) start at 700nm and extend up to about 1200nm. what is being imaged is heat energy, but only the tiny portion of it just beyond a human's visual spectrum."

in the set, foiliage appears pale, skin grey and transluscent, my veins are strongly emphasized and the sky seems to be on fire. when i first viewed this set i was so estatic to have been part of a collaboration that had produced such wonderful abstract results.

mister graves explains that "certain objects in the natural world that we see in color reflect most infrared radiation, foliage being the most obvious example. infrared portraiture of humans is interesting to me is because while skin tends to reflect a good amount of infrared, the blood in our veins does not. being able to clearly view the blood racing through our bodies in a photograph serves to remind me that we are alive."

this set declares humanity in an eerie fashion, detailing the inner workings of what is otherwise a ghostly form in a place that in reality is full of life, but in infrared appears as spectral as the subject.

it was shot on MG's altered camera. apparently, "in order to photograph the infrared spectrum, the camera must either be fitted with an infrared filter (which makes live focusing impossible) or the internal filter which general blocks infrared light must be replaced with a filter that accepts only infrared light." the camera used for this set had a replaced internal filter, and there was almost no post processing done on the set.

*credit to david aka mister_graves for most of the technical information!


going home?

this is a shot of me and the lovely kessM by azzara. i get to shoot with her and lori mann next week. i have a feeling the results will be SO mind blowingly hot they might be banned if we post them on the interenet. just sayin.

i fly "home" to rochester from seattle tonight, and arrive at 2pm. after recovering from jetlag for a day i get to pack for burning man/living out of my car for 2 months (schedule below), and move the majority of the stuff in my apartment to my new one, in one week. then i embark on the most extensive trip i'll have been on to date, and ultimately get to really go home, for a week, to the playa.

i'm sorta conflicted about what matters most to me in life right now, aside from the obvious goals of doing well with modeling and going back to school, which is relatively dependent on the former. my occupation makes location sort of flexible, but i've got ties even when i've tried to avoid them.

when i'll be where:

DC- august 6-10

roadtrip to burningman! august 10-29
tentative schedule:
august 10-11: DC to Penland, NC (possible stops in VA, MA, or NC)
august 11-17: Penland, NC (booking in NC, or east TN)
august 17-18: NC to Nashville, TN (possible stop in chattanooga)
august 18-21: Nashville, TN or surrounding areas
august 21-24: St Louis and Kansas City
august 24-28: CO (booking in denver, springs & nearby)
august 28-29: CO to Nevada (stops in UT or eastern NV possible)

roadtrip back to rochester: september 10-22
tentative schedule:
(dates still very flexible)
september 10-11: from CO to Omaha, NE.
september 11-12: from Omaha, NE to Milwaukee, WI
september 12-16: Milwaukee, WI & Chicago, IL
september 16-17: Chicago, IL to Detroit, MI (possible stops in IN)
september 17-18: Detroit, MI
september 18-20: Detroit, MI to Pittsburgh, PA
september 20-21: Pittsburgh, PA
september 21-22: Pittsburgh, PA to Rochester, NY

TEXAS in late october (houston, dallas, maybe austin).

CALIFORNIA in early december (LA and SF, maybe SD?)


french tourists on greyhounds.

they told me everyone is more friendly in america.
i think they're full of shit.

i had all this amazing, epiphany-esque nonsense to confess last night, but suffice to say i don't want to be angry anymore. and that i really don't want to wind up like my dad.



my hugest flaw, and at times, asset, throughout the years has been how much of me i am. it never ends.

atleast i know i'm growing up. evolving, it's nice.
i know i won't screw someone i truly care about over ever again, it just isn't in me anymore. i have a conscience and a sense of loyalty now, because i don't feel the need to validate myself anymore.

mreh, i ramble much.


we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves.

i miss having a life and i think i need to move to portland.
the music scene here is amazing.




another year.

birthday's always suck.
(shoot to emphasize this occuring in 8 days.)

in my 18th year i have:

come to realize that there is no use blaming other people for my problems, no matter how justified. the only person who can make anything truly better for myself is me.

started several completely new lives.

stopped relying on extremes.

found reasons to be, a future to pursue, and a past i tried to forget.


you have to break out of your shell (which was colorado in my case) to change your habitual mistakes. otherwise self denial and repetition soothe your conscience into silence.



it tingles and burns on the scalp.
mmm.... reality.


converting files.

it feels like that's what my brain is doing.

i can't get anything done, all i do is fret.

only thing i've succeeded in doing today:

updated list of where i'll be and when:
PHILADELPHIA: july 11-15

PORTLAND: july 15-22
SEATTLE: july 22-27

DC- august 5-10

roadtrip to burningman august 10-30
going through the following states:

VA, NC, TN, KY, IL, MO, KA, CO, UT, NV (maybe AZ and NM?)

roadtrip back to rochester: september 8-?
going through the following states:
NV, UT, CO, whatever random western states i find work in,
MN, WI, IL, IN, MI, OH, western PA.

either TEXAS or DENVER in october.
CALIFORNIA by the end of the year.

upside down.


the past 3 days have seen so much changes in plans it's mind boggling. i will spend the next 2 or 3 months between rochester, new jersey, philly, portland, seattle, DC, north carolina, colorado, texas, burning man, and who knows where else.

i came home from NYC to an apartment with no electricity, which awoke me to the fact that i am not nearly as in control of my life as i like to think. and that this needs to change.

since the breaker got flipped an hour ago i've been trying to get necessary things done but wound up here, bitching and moaning because life has thrown some serious curveballs at me and i have so much planning and work to do.

but this is what life as an artist is. one must seize oppurtunities, make pilgrimmages, be flexible and persistent to succeed in any arena of the artistic realm, because it's all so damn subjective. here is where a certain accquaintance of mine would say something like: "i don't see what's subjective about your modeling, you only succeed because of your tits."

some people suck, others not so much.
the trick is to stay surrounded by the slight pull of the lesser ones, all equidistant and all coming from slightly different directions. kept in limbo by the slight circular vaccum of existence.

...enough poetic BS. i have a smelly, moldy fridge to clean.