make someone smile.

is what a girl's tiny sign held out a luxury SUV i was zooming past read on the drive down to NYC from rochester way WAY too early on saturday morning. her face was calm, serene, smilling but not overly gregarious.

since then i've been infected with the will to please.
and the polar opposite will to succeed.
(it's funny how necessary balance is in my body.)

i've felt very in sync with myself and what i'm supposed to be doing recently, and i think it has to do with my gradual acceptance that i don't really function in the same social manner as other people. and that there are ways to work around this, and still do well in this industry.

i am dreaming bigger and being avidly encouraged to entertain these thoughts by most everyone around me. it's a little overwhelming, in all honesty, and i think i understand why people tend to develop bloated egos and sociopathic qualities when they start to "get big"... with no contradiciton or questioning one feels like a god.

my main goal is to remain humble.
no matter what, this is not all about me.

i love new york.
truly, through all the grime and gossip, i do.

when i get this deep about something generally so shallow, i know i need a month off in the winter. a month full of kitties, hot tea, sewing and photography.


  1. At first glance I felt completly tarnished by your abscence on my plateau but absorbing eyes and relentless scrutinization is slowly resulting in true acquittal of my affliction.Your happiness triggers an enternal snicker and prys open my vivacity.

  2. Will you please on the significance of "admonito" for you?