i slept all day yesterday, woke up at 4pm, showered for an hour, snapped, in a fury told my lover i'm moving away as soon as i can, chaos ensued, then i went to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained, at midnight.

i don't know if it's all the sleep, or knowing that i get to leave rochester, but the illness that had been lurking in my sinuses and throat is gone and i'm not angry anymore.

i was made to wander... to fade in and out of places and time.

i feel weak for not appreciating the good i have here enough to stay, at the same time i know no one is to blame for the presence of wanderlust and the natural desire to be happy.

i have alot of work to do before i can move at all, then a country to drive across, and i don't quite know how to work it all out yet. it's a little intimidating, this is the first time i'm striking out %100 alone... then again, with friends in most major cities, it's arguable that percentage is slightly false.

either way, i need this:
solidarity of the self.


  1. leah if you ever come back here... lol i'll be your fuckin lover how sexy can you get??! shit

  2. 1) 100% Self Dependence is one way to either find yourself or lose yourself.

    2) You are the only one who knows what is right/best for you. When you feel a calling, listen.

    3) Come see me when you can. I offer scritchies.